For good or bad, for better or worse, I’ve been around a few blocks! I’ve dated a lot in my life, been single for long stretches, been in long term relationships, lived with women and finally got married… and unfortunately divorced. I can speak from true experience and know a thing or two about dating. I have great male and female friends who have given me all kinds of dating advice. Some good, some great, some bad, some horrible. Over the years, I’ve heard it all. So, here is a little bit of what I’ve learned; seven pieces of invaluable information and way to communicate (and not communicate!) with the opposite sex. These are perhaps the best tips I can pass along to you in regards to dating. Good luck men!
Get an Honest Opinion of Yourself as a “Dater”
Ask a female friend who you trust to be brutally honest with you. Have her tell you about your clothes, grooming, attitude, body, hair… the whole enchilada.This is one of the easiest way to improve your dating skills and success. I did this and got some great insight about myself (some things I didn’t know and frankly, really didn’t want to hear!). You might not like the answers but at least you will know how the women of the single world might be viewing you. However, this advice only works if you actually listen and act on it accordingly.
Go Where You Feel Comfortable
I love George Hamilton (the epitome of sauve). He is a great talker with a lot of wonderful insight about women. Here is one of his best stories/pieces of advice. He says that whenever he goes to a new town he finds the nicest restaurant as soon as possible. He introduces himself to the maitre d’ or the owner, gives them his credit card and says, “I’ll be coming in several times over the next few days and weeks with various people and dates. Put every meal on the card, give yourself a 25% tip and never bring me the bill.” Then, each night when he walks in, the maitre d’ says, “Good evening, Mr. Hamilton. Right this way to your table.” When the evening is done he tells his companion, “I’ve taken care of dinner,” and they get up and go.
Lesson? He looks and feels comfortable in his surroundings. Of course, we don’t all have the luxury of being GH but you do know your local haunts and faves. Date at the places you know and you will feel more comfortable and confident.
Spot the Red Flags
Dating is just like auto racing; a red flag means STOP! Some red warning flags are for minor problems but most mean a serious wreck is about to happen (or has already happened)! Sure you can deal with an annoying laugh or a woman who is a neat freak, but you can’t deal with lying, rude behavior, substance abuse or a seriously checkered past. Don’t ignore the warning signs.
If You Don’t Want to Kiss Her Within the First Hour Then You Will Never Want To!
It may sound harsh, but it’s true. Trust your gut. If there is no lust factor, or at least a serious leering factor, then it won’t show up later. Yes, it can take women two or three or more dates to feel chemistry. But we’re guys, we don’t work that way. Like it or not, chemistry can’t be faked.
Be Yourself (You’re Good at It!)
She is on a date with YOU because she likes YOU and she agreed to go out with YOU. Get the point? But you do need to be the best version of you possible. Dress well, take a shower, smell good, smile, laugh, ask questions and, most importantly, listen! You may not be perfect but be proud of who you are. If she doesnt like you for you, then you don’t want to be with her anyway. And, her efforts to “change you” will start immediately!
Crazy Never Becomes Sane
This one is oh so true! I’ve been there, done that, got the straight jacket! A crazy women will never change. Run and run fast! Just because she is beautful does not make up for the fact that she is a loon. Trust me, there is a reason that a gorgeous, smart and sexy women is single. Don’t tempt crazy, you can’t handle it!
Finally, Do Not Say “I’ll Call You!”
Even if you want to call her, don’t say it, just do it! And, if you don’t want to call (or don’t want to see her again) then be polite and honest and tell her you had a great time but you just don’t think that the two of you are a great “love connection.” She may not like hearing it but she will respect you for your honesty. And, who knows, if she thinks that you are a straight shooting, good guy then she might just set you up with a friend who could turn out to be your “Ms. Right.” Being a gentleman is always the right choice.