Real men, adult men, men who have graduated from being boys… know better than to open their mouths without thinking. They know better than to speak without having some thought and intelligence behind their words. They have learned from wisdom, experience, trial and error that there are simply things they should never say.
Call it maturity, call it style, call it class, call it life lessons, call it what you will but at the end of the day… men of a certain age and distinction simply know better. With that said… here are 10 things that you, and any man you know past the four decade mark, need to stop saying right now.
“Sorry, but… ” and “Sorry that you feel that way… “
Man Up! These are not apologies, these are wimpy ways to not take responsibility. Don’t deflect, take ownership of your actions. The correct phrase is simply “Sorry. I screwed up. I was wrong. Please forgive me.”
“How much should I leave for a tip?”
Code for “oh crap, I need to leave $20 for the waiter!?” If the bill is a $100 and the service was great then yes, yes you do. This isn’t a math question, it’s a character question. Don’t be lame, don’t be cheap. Do the math and leave a good tip. 15% for good service, 20% and up for great service. If you can’t afford the tip, you can’t afford to eat out.
No, no, no. Grow a pair and use the “F” word or don’t. You are a grown man. As I always say… I swear like a sailor but have manners like a saint!
“I’m horny, let’s screw!”
Do I really need to explain this one? You’re not a hormonal 17 year old trying to feel up a cheerleader. If this is how you talk to a woman then you don’t deserve a woman. At least not a real woman with confidence, strength, and character.
“What color shoes go with this suit?”
Pretty much along the lines of “does this tie match this shirt?” There is simply no replacing decent fashion sense. I’m not saying you need to be George Clooney or Tom Ford but knowing the basics of style is a no brainer. Pick up a magazine, stop shopping at Old Navy, take off the backward baseball cap, and ask a classy woman or handsome man for advice.
“She’s my girlfriend or he’s my boyfriend”
You are in a relationship with a man or a woman… hopefully not a boy or girl. Especially since you are over 40! Pick another term… better half, significant other, wife, husband, partner, almost anything else is a better choice (other than my hot piece of ass… yes, I have heard that one lately!)
“Hey dude, let’s do shots!”
Just follow up this phrase with “hey dude, can you hold my head as I throw up in the toilet at 4am?” Order a real drink, learn about good wine, sip a fine whiskey. enjoy a cold Stella Artois… you will be glad you did and you will look a hell of a lot better in the process. And by the way… stop say “dude” as well. Unless you truly are a Valley guy who can hang ten!
” I wish I could…”
Stop wishing for something better in your life and start working toward making it happen.
“To be perfectly honest…”
Guilty! This is a phrase I have worked very hard to stop saying after it was pointed out to me how much I said it in almost every exchange. All you’re basically saying is “…let me tell you the truth now after I fed you a load of crap for every conversation before this point!”
“I need to go potty!”
No you don’t… you need to quietly excuse yourself without an announcement and act like you have not been brought up in a barn. I have a ten year old son and even he stopped saying this three years ago. Enough said.
Now go forth and make yourself, and all of us mature men, proud!